Humorous Jokes and Funny Stories about Horses - 1

Horses

Where should you take an injured pony?
The horsepital.

Horses

There was a farmer who rebuilt an old barn on his property. He kept the cows, pigs, chickens and the plowhorse in that barn. But the birds were so used to using that barn as a nesting place that they kept devilin' the poor old horse. The farmer went to the mayor (who was also a baker) for help in exterminating the birds. The mayor told him to sprinkle yeast on the barn floor, which the farmer did. Lo and behold---it worked! The next day, the farmer went back to the mayor and asked how it was possible. The mayor said, ''Easy. Yeast is yeast and nest is nest, and never the mane shall tweet.''

Horses

When his car suddenly grinds to a halt on a lonely country road the driver tries to restart it but to no avail. So he gets out and opens the bonnet and starts fiddling with the sparkplugs. Suddenly he hears a voice. ''The left hand carburettor is blocked, why don't you drain it and the muck should come out too''. He turns round and can see no one, so he shrugs and goes back to what he was doing. ''Drain the muck out of the left hand carburettor'', says the voice again, and when he turns round all he can see is a black horse with its head over the hedge looking at him. Again the voice tells him what to do and he suddenly realises that the horse is giving him instructions. Too shocked to argue, he does as he is told, starts the car and sure enough it works. He drives down to the nearest bar and, rushing in like a madman, has a stiff drink. Then he says to the barman, ''My car broke down up there and a horse told me how to repair it''. The barman looks at him and says, ''Was it a black one?'' ''Yes.'' ''I thought so, the white one knows nothing about cars.''

Horses

I've just been out riding. Horseback?
Yes, the horse got back two hours before me.