Humorous Jokes and Funny Stories about Cats - 1

Cats

What do cats read while having their breakfast?
Mewspapers.

Cats

What part of an automobile can be used to change cats into something else?
A catalytic converter.

Cats

What noise does you pet cat make going down the motorway?
Meeeeeeoooooowwwwww.

Cats

Did you hear about the cat that swallowed a ball of wool?
She had mittens.

Cats

An old cat had made his home in the alley behind Joe's bar for some time, existing on scraps and occasional handouts from the barman. One evening, emboldened by hunger, the feline attempted to follow Joe through the back door. Regrettably, only the his body had made it through when Joe slammed the door, severing the cat's tail at its base. This proved too much for the old creature, who looked sadly at Joe and expired on the spot. Joe put the carcass back out in the alley and went back to business. The mandatory closing time arrived and Joe was in the process of locking up after the last customers had gone. Approaching the back door he was startled to see an apparition of the old cat mournfully holding its severed tail out, silently pleading for Joe to put the tail back on its corpse so that it could go on to the kitty afterworld complete. Joe shook his head sadly and said to the ghost: ''I can't. You know the law: I can't retail spirits after 2:00 AM.''

Cats

When is it bad luck to have a black cat cross your path?
When you're a mouse.