American Jokes and Humor - 1

American Humor

Who invented the telephone and is delicious when served with milk?
Alexander Graham Cracker.

American Humor

The state of Missouri has vigorously tried to get some of the other states bordering on the Mississippi River to join in an urgently needed flood control project. This is because Missouri loves company.

American Humor

How can Congress trim the fat from Federal spending?
By switching to lo-cal government.

American Humor

A guide was showing a Texan Niagara Falls. Guide: I'll bet you don't have anything like that in Texas. Texan: Nope, I reckon we don't, but we got plumbers that could fix it.

American Humor

President Bush has noted that there are too many economic pundits and forecasters and has decided to introduce an excess prophets tax.

American Humor

You know you live in a small town when : Even a 4 year old can tear the phone book in half. You turn on your oven, and the street lights dim. Everyone reads the newspaper to see if the reporter got it right. The water tower is made by Dixie Cup. The ''Welcome To'' and ''Thanks For Visiting'' signs are mounted on the same pole. Everyones phone number has only 1 digit. The only traffic light in town is at a cattle crossing. This years United Way drive netted a record $1.75 in contributions.

American Humor

Two Californians are stranded on a desert island. One day, a raft floats up to the island. So, they used the wood to make a hot tub.

American Humor

You know you're a redneck if directions to your house include: and then you turn off the paved road...

American Humor

You know you're a redneck if going to the bathroom at night involves putting on your shoes and carrying a flashlight.

American Humor

You know you're a redneck if you consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper quality entertainment.